The Royal Issue / Mentally Available... Maybe: Week Not Sure / Issue 3

Who's to Blame 

For our regular readers of The Pepper, you may notice that we have a new look to our page. You can all thank our beloved TerrenaAnimula, who didn't like the way it looked. So that's that news.. On to the more pressing matters. Why is your Pepper so late!? We all know you've been waiting for us to inform you of the details of the dramas of the day, so where is it? And HA!! It's not Tea's poor time management skills this time! Nope! You can all happily blame Springjoy, because we had to celebrate in her honor of annual getting older party with PSL's! You can also blame TerrenaAnimula, well, because she's Cat. As well as blame Lovecraft because she hasn't said "No" in a long time. And don't forget to blame Merlot for being on vacation. And Baby Merlot for hiding his parts.. we're not so sure if that’s a good intro but it's there! And we blame everyone else for not making extra LRVT news for us! So now that that's out and we know who's at fault here, here's the news!

Hierarchy of Lady Lariel's Realm Revealed

In the opening of our new section Ask The Cat, the question that is on everyone's mind was "what is the complete titles and hierarchy of Lady Lariel empire"? In more detail, "What is the history of Lovely Rotten Vintage Tea, including Silver Legends, Jalapenos, Peppers, and Lariel's Empire"? Well, hold on to your biscuits because in the next few issues we will explore and inform you, our beloved readers, the answers to these burning questions! We have started with a whole page, that is always being updated with new information that is called Hierarchy of Lady Lariel's Realm. It can be found here:

Hierarchy of LRVT

As for the history of Lovely Rotten Vintage Tea, we have it accounted as so by one of the individuals who were there in the beginning;
"In the beginning, there was the Great Empress and stuff with things happened. The four elements of chaos were created, two born of The Great Mother, The Lovely and The Tea, The Rotten and The Vintage were created somehow and the four elements of Chaos came together to open a tea shop. Our Rotten and our Vintage have long been mia for some time... Victims of the Marzipan room assumed.. But they did tend to agree with Tea more than Gerty, I would say."
So there you have it!

Lady Lariel's Story Time

Starting this week, memebers of LRVT are encourged to participate in a story time with our great Empress.

Story Time

LRVT's CW addiction: What up with that?

For years, LRVT has been known as something of a hot spot for latest-fashion mania on subeta. Exactly .0231948 seconds after a new release hit the shelves, at least one, if not half of the LRVT family would be seen rushing off to change their outfit for the...well, let's not put a number on that, shall we?  So devoted to fashion were they that it soon became a raging addiction for many, leading the Empress to ban and limit shopping sprees and CW purchases. However great the love of the Empress may be, the new rules seemed to do little to curb the reckless abandon of the LRVT CW addiction crisis.

In fact, rumor has it that some closets were so large, members wandered into them and were never seen again. (We can only hope they are happily trying on clothes and didn't end up in...someone else's closet. Erhem.)  So severe was the addiction with certain members of the royal family, that they even planned heists and intimidations in order to bereave other, less CW involved members of their prized wardrobe possessions, causing the Empress to put her foot down with severe punishments.

After all the drama and scandals, in recent years the royal LRVT community has grown strangely silent on all CW matters, leaving the editors of this paper to wonder what's up with that. Our investigation is based on the burning inquiry: has LRVT finally beat the CW addiction...or are they just better at hiding from the Empress? Breaking news on this story will be found exclusively in upcoming Issues of The Pepper!

Mewing Introduction; Ask the Cat

Is Tea a Ninja?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No, she's not. She's failed so many times. She's alerted guards to us from rolling around attempting to be a ninja getting the rest of the Silver Legends in trouble. Sometimes it's useful in catching the enemy off guard in battle. However there is totally a reason as to why Lovecraft is always pushing her down hills and off cliffs.

Who gave Fresh Cake last?
I don't know. I have been AWOL! But probably either Springjoy or someone else who is pro-cake. None of us who are anti-cake would ever dare to give him cake.

What is the name of your WS companion and how do you forget your own pet's name?! 
Her name is MagicaNox! Daughter of MediaNox. So many things have been going on and disappearances from me, that I forgot. MediaNox has been with me longer. MagicaNox has only been on 1 adventure and she made her appearance in Wayward Squirrel 5.

Baby Merlot Name Feud is Over

After weeks of feuding between LRVT family members Tea_Roll and Chat about the rights to grant the future Baby Merlot its name, the Pepper is ecstatic to report that the name feud is finally over as is our impatient wait to discover the gender of this much anticipated new little royal! The verdict is in and Baby Merlot is a little PRINCE! The royal family is thrilled and looks forward to properly welcoming little Walter Michael Kainoa Merlot in the new year. The reporter following this story is also thrilled that Cat Roll is officially off the table, though no one has any doubts that the family feud will continue as Chat and Tea_Roll squabble over nicknames and who gets to be the first to try to teach the little Prince skills "necessary" for being a part of the royal family.

Should anything further on Baby Merlot or the feud develop, you can be sure that the Pepper will bring you the absolute latest tidbits as soon as possible. Now, let's get on to spoiling that baby with pretties as fast as we can! I doubt even the Empress will deny LRVT this spending spree.

Football Season is baaack...but let's PSL!!

Football season returns to the US in just a few days and the LRVT palace could care less because of August 28, the day that Starbucks brought back the Pumpkin Spice Latte from hibernation. The Pumpkin Spice Latte, or PSL as its devoted worshipers call it, ushers in the annual pumpkin explosion that obliterates all other sensible fall ingredients until gingerbread kicks it's butt in December.

Springjoy protested loudly to anyone who would listen that pumpkins did not belong in a month that did not end in BER (for the record, no one cared at all what Spring said). Tea_Roll counted down the days and shouted PSL!!! at anyone and everyone. She even admitted to having PSL day in her planner--and we all know if it's in the planner, it's important!

Merlot and Empress Lariel planned to treat themselves to their own dose of PSL when the opportunity arose, and TerrenaAnimula was declared dead to Lovecraft after saying she did not like Lattes. Apparently liking mochas is not good enough for the Starbucks addicts among us.

So if you are a football fan, forget trying to cheer for the score of your favorite team. Pretty sure the only cheering you'll hear around here for the next few months is Tea_Roll cheering every time she gets herself another PSL...which is probably going to be basically all the time.

If you need some PSL conditioning to cope, the Pepper is glad to provide you with the following memes for your perusal.

Who's Nakkid Now

Tea was left to write this story, even though she was totally ignoring Springjoys pings! Maybe we can blame Tea's attention span for the lateness of this issue as well as some of the "quality" that is seen in this paper. In case no one was paying attention, this week our Great Empress Lariel is showing some leg. So shocking and scandalous. The Great Mother Rosaria is boasting of being in the buff but apparently because of her figmental status, only she knows when she's nakkid. We'll be sure to keep an eye on her. But most shocking of all, Tea's little sister, GarnetCarnage84, who was MIA from Subeta for some time is running around completely in the nude!!