Insert A Clever Title Here // Issue 13

A wise someone once said that all good things had to come to an end sometime. Another wise someone said hindsight is 20/20. And perhaps an even wiser someone said Find a way or make one.

Ten months ago, the loveable and adorable editors of The Pepper decided to close up shop. You know, put an end to good things. Figure out if we could stop the rapid deterioration of our eyesight by trying out some hindsight instead. Find out that there wasn't a way to avoid LRVT scandals and doldrums and make our own up.

But then we got to thinking. (I know, I know. A wise someone once said that thinking was dangerous too.) what exactly is "an end", and whoever decided hindsight was a thing?

As for finding ways and making them, you are all about to find out what exactly LRVT has been up to since The Pepper's editors pulled the rug out from under you all and shut it all down.  I assure you that you won't want to miss this at least 2% true report from your favorites.

Hey, *Crickets*! Do you hear me?

If you've heard something buzzing lately, don't worry. It wasn't LRVT or the royal grounds buzzing with activity. In fact, neighboring empires have begun to wonder if the LRVT clan and the family Nyota have perhaps...vanished. They've thought of turning out search parties for the missing and almost mute royals, but due to rumors of The Room That Cannot Be Spoken Of (You may know it as The Marzipan Room. Hey. I'm allowed to say "the name", even if no one else is brave enough. Pfft.), no search parties have actually been formed.

While the chat thread may be mostly homing a large and growing collection of crickets, I have it on good authority that LRVT and it's Royal Clan are all alive and...well, they are alive and surviving. And while some are still bumping around the Marzipan room and refuse to come out, most of them are quietly sipping tea and dreaming of the summer palace and the unfounded hope that 2020 will finally be the year that everything goes right.

Have you seen Lovecraft's missing coworker?

It seems like somethings never change. (Another wise someone saying, if anyone's taking notes.) 

Lovecraft is well known for being a killjoy. You can take that literally or figuratively-- it's your nose, not mine. In any case, recent reports have trickled in that even though LRVT has been a bit of a ghost town, Lady Love is not laying low on her slaying ways. A source that remains unnamed reports that even as recent as yesterday evidence that Lovecraft was plotting to turn a coworker into Gilly's dinner was turned over to this news establishment, proving that while no amount of hindsight seems to have restored the editor's less-than-20/20-vision, nothing has changed with our favorite warrior woman...and Gilly is still eating very well.

That Time Weldon Won Superbowl

We haven't seen much of our friend Frieda of late, but after a scandalized source claimed to have seen Weldon running around nekid in a field in the days prior to the great face-off between the 49 men and the chief men, we were pleased to hear that all the scientific reasoning, and apparently the cold midnight air on wild and free weasel fur paid off with the winning bet. 

Whether or not Weldon still has any of his life supply of beer nuts left we have yet to receive a confirmation on, but winning or losing, we send our best and biggest love to Frieda and her fam.

The Empress Bans Everyone From Everything

We all know that our kind and generous Empress Lariel has long put up with the bad spending habits, scandel, gossip and overly eager members of her large and boisterous family. While many of the neighboring clans may wonder how it is that she has not, as of yet, just given the "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" signal and started anew with better-behaved family, her affection for her boisterous family has been enough to keep their heads in place...most of the time.

However, an anonymous Royal Family Member has leaked that recently a royal decree was issued to ban many of the royal queens from further purchases in this new year.

What, you may ask, was it that pushed the Empress over the edge to degree a ban? Upon returning to the palace after a brief journey, Empress opened the Royal Storage house and was nearly buried alive in Washi Tape Rolls. She put her foot down when four royals continued to insist that there was no such thing as Too Much Washi and insolently purchased more the very day.

It remains to be seen whether or not any royal members of the family are obeying the ban on washi, as it is rumored that the addiction is stronger than the CW scandal. We will update you if there are further developments.

In Conclusion...

Tea_Roll is still rolling...even if she is semi-confined to the great amazonian river lines these days. Merlot still gets the finest of fine wines available. (And she deserves them-- we all know motherhood requires fine wine.) Spring and her two little fairy children are working their magic in hopes of earlier spring weather. TerrenaAnimula is still in the marzipan room and won't come out. Fresh, wherever he may be, is still eating cake, no matter what the Anti Cake For Fresh people may say. All of LRVT is much too calm and scandal-free for any respectable royal household, but we're still here.  And Webby? She's still sending storms out whenever she can and blaming it on Lovecraft. (We're on to you, Webby!)

And your editors...well, we make no promises of permanent Pepper Returns. But you never know what cards 2020 might hold.